Genesis 3 - Damn You Fruit-Eating Sinners!

Shit hits the fan today, and god is pissed.

"Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made"

So why make it?  If this animal is going to cause an eternity of sin, with the need for redemption, stop at lizards . . . . no need for snakes, god.  Maybe he didn't see it coming, being omniscient and all.

 "
He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You^[a] shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” ² And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, ³ but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’” ⁴ But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. ⁵ For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” ⁶ So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise,^[b] she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. ⁷ Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths."

There are several interesting things in this passage, aside from a talking snake:

1.  We see Eve telling the talking snake that god told her that if she ate the fruit from the forbidden tree, she would die.  The snake says, 'no, you won't die, you will gain knowledge and be like god, knowing good and evil'.  This actually turns out to be true.  In the Catholic tradition, at least, the snake is seen as the devil incarnate.  So in this passage, we see god lying to Eve and the devil telling the truth.  

2.  We see the first instance of this religious tradition shitting on women.  Eve caused the downfall of Adam, and they both caused the utter need for redemption for the rest of humanity.  Way to go women; generations of being a second-class human await you.

3. I've often heard it said that this passage is indicative that god allowed man to have free will.  Adam and Eve could have listened to god and not eaten the fruit, or they could disobey god as they did.  I have to question that analysis.  Is it truly a free choice by Eve, not knowing the difference between good (obeying) and evil (disobeying), when she wasn't already possessed of the faculties to make such a judgment?  Do you blame a toddler for getting into the flour and making a mess?  I see very little difference here.

4.  This snake is just hanging about in the garden, messing things up.  God, being omniscient and omnipresent, MUST have known that the snake was there, and that the snake had a plan to screw with god's perfect creation.  In order to conclude otherwise, you would have to agree that god is not omniscient.  Why didn't god stop the snake?

"⁸ And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool^[c] of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. ⁹ But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?”^{[d] 10} And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” ¹¹ He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” ¹² The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” ¹³ Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”"

Here again we clearly see that god has no idea what the hell just happened in the garden of Eden - the one place in existence.  What the hell was he doing?  On a coffee break again?

Both Adam and god blame Eve for what has transpired.  Oh, women, your generations will pay for this.

"¹⁴ The Lord God said to the serpent,

“Because you have done this,
    cursed are you above all livestock
    and above all beasts of the field;
on your belly you shall go,
    and dust you shall eat
    all the days of your life.
¹⁵ I will put enmity between you and the woman,
    and between your offspring^[e] and her offspring;
he shall bruise your head,
    and you shall bruise his heel.”"

Damn you, snake!  Where did you come from?  Oh wait . . . I made you.  Nevermind.

"¹⁶ To the woman he said,

“I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing;
    in pain you shall bring forth children.
Your desire shall be for^[f] your husband,
    and he shall rule over you.”"

Humans are not the only creature that experiences pain during birth.  Did god curse the rest of the animals on earth to also experience this pain?  And . . . . .god now just made women the second-class human that they've suffered since.  What a loving guy.

"¹⁷ And to Adam he said,

“Because you have listened to the voice of your wife
    and have eaten of the tree
of which I commanded you,
    ‘You shall not eat of it,’
cursed is the ground because of you;
    in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life;
¹⁸ thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you;
    and you shall eat the plants of the field.
¹⁹ By the sweat of your face
    you shall eat bread,
till you return to the ground,
    for out of it you were taken;
for you are dust,
    and to dust you shall return.”"

Isn't that interesting?  God is referring to agriculture, and the baking of bread.  Seems to me that agriculture actually came along quite late in human development (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_agriculture), and was quite popular around the time the bible was written . . . . interesting indeed.

I want to note at this stage that there are extremely (nearly verbatim) stories about man gaining knowledge of good and evil in the Sumerian texts.  I've decided not to delve further into the Sumerian texts on this blog, simply because it is not necessary to make the points I want to make, and requires a boatload of research before I can write a post.  Suffice it to say that there was a garden, a tree, a fruit, and a pissed off overlord when man gained knowledge.

"²⁰ The man called his wife's name Eve, because she was the mother of all living.^{[g] 21} And the Lord God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skins and clothed them.

²² Then the Lord God said, “Behold, the man has become like one of us in knowing good and evil. Now, lest he reach out his hand and take also of the tree of life and eat, and live forever—” ²³ therefore the Lord God sent him out from the garden of Eden to work the ground from which he was taken. ²⁴ He drove out the man, and at the east of the garden of Eden he placed the cherubim and a flaming sword that turned every way to guard the way to the tree of life."

"Behold, the man has become like one of us . . . ". Alright monotheists,  how do you survive this?  This is the second time in three chapters of your bible where god has referred to 'god' in the plural.

God is also worried in this passage that Adam will eat of the tree of life and become immortal, like him. Sumerian text . . . blah blah blah . . . .

And there you have it folks.  A couple people disobeyed an apparently non-omniscient god and everyone, including you, that came after these two fruit-eating jokers are damned to hell unless saved through Jesus - who I might mention in passing came much, much later.  That makes a lot of sense to me . . . .

Stay tuned for murder and incest.